Do you trust the tensile strength of this cheap hair unbraided, doctor?

[He shakes his head, almost scoffing.]

No, I'm not going to climb your hair. But it's going to get braided, then used as a rope that you can tie to something in that tower of yours, and then you can hoist yourself down.

[Even if that means he has to cut it off with something, too; which might be easier.]